Privilege

You know there are some things which people who are born with a silver spoon can never really understand. I am absolutely not talking about them being born in a rich family. What I really mean here is the privileged upbringing they receive. They can never understand the struggles which others go through.

I feel sad and angry at the same time that why people like me aren’t born with this special privilege.

Privileged in every sense - lifestyle, education, hobbies, friendships, social circle, opportunities, jobs, businesses, life’s decisions, choices, etc. - every single thing which can be influenced if you’re privileged.

Growing up in a middle-class family, I always saw all of my rich & privileged cousins getting every comfort, every need being met in contrast to people like me who had to earn all these basics. And it broke my heart - ALWAYS! Our struggles were nothing but privileges for some people - I actually hate this word, seriously!

I've made a lot of compromises & sacrifices in my life. I believe being unprivileged usually makes us a weak & easy target every time in life. Life is difficult in every sense for us. The anxiety & mental health issues which I've gone through because of these struggles is not something which my privileged cousins/relatives can really understand. Of course, their lives may not be perfect & pain-free either. But do you know how difficult it is to struggle even for the pettiest of things in life? At least some people don't have to deal with this pain & hustle.

Many a times I feel life is nothing but a game of struggles - every new level brings new & difficult challenges - just keep grinding, breaking down, getting up, hustling, losing, winning, losing again - for even the smallest of happiness and basic need, just keep struggling.

I've felt like writing my life's story so many times in my blogs but then I feel I'll fall short of words if I start describing the struggles of me and my family.

I am tired - not physically but mentally. I am tired of dealing with life & its struggles. I always feel life can't get any tougher, but life fails me every time & I am served with a new pain the next time. I even feel pity for my younger self who had to go through with so much in life, in fact not just me but my entire family. Those difficulties, all that pain, all those sleepless nights, the trauma & the mental health issues - I don't think any of us has gotten past all that, maybe we've buried it somewhere in our hearts & moved on.

It's really sad that God sometimes snatches away the childhood from a child.

Since I last remember, my life has been full of struggles. Hard work, hustle - I've done only this.

I know people would say but you have so much in life now, but do they know how have I reached to this point? What has it taken to become what I am today? I've worked hard day & night so that I could pull myself out of that life full of struggles. And even after all this, the uncertainty remains - uncertainty of how would the next day be, would it bring a new struggle?

Today I am married to the love of my life, have a well-paying job, have an amazing & caring family, am surrounded by loving people yet I battle with anxiety & depression. No, not sadness, yes depression. Because I know what I've been deprived of all my life. And the day I stop grinding, I would be deprived of all this again.

I do know very well what I have today is again a privilege not many people have.

Maybe someone somewhere would be feeling the same that I feel today. Maybe..

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