Love 💕

I don’t believe in ‘Love at first sight’. Yeah, I may get attracted to someone’s looks or their personality but loving someone and deciding to spend my life with them at the first sight is just not possible for me.

Just falling in love isn’t enough. When you’re in a relationship with someone, everything seems beautiful in the beginning and you’re in this La La Land! That’s because you both put your best sides forward.

After spending more & more time with each other is when you start to see and understand the weaknesses, the true colors of each other.

You yourself experience a lot of emotions - whether or not you’ll be accepted, whether or not you’ll have the strength to accept the other person after knowing so much about them, guilt, shame, insecurities, jealousy, anger, even anxiety maybe.

You form an image about your partner based on the initial days you spend with them, you even set a lot of expectations from them. And when things deviate from the image that you formed is when trouble kicks in and this whole game of hurt starts. It all depends on whether or not you’re able to give acceptance to each other no matter what comes your way.

You face so much as a couple, you’ve to give so many tests in life’s exams that it’s actually very draining mentally. And this is something that only the couple who goes through can understand, it’s really very different for each couple - the challenging times, the emotions, the entire journey! If inspite of all this you end up together, that’s real love for me.

Love according to me is putting that constant effort, taking that conscious decision of being there no matter what because love doesn’t mean you’ll be in a fairy land everyday where everything is perfect and rosy. Love means to understand that the other person’s actions are not always inspired out of love, to have compassion for the other person, to be there for the other person genuinely.

Out of my 9 years of being in a relationship & dating experience, I’ve just understood one thing and that is the sun is not gonna shine always, there’ll be days you will see each other’s flaws more than strength, there’ll be days you’ll wonder what made you fall in love with this person, there’ll also be a time you both part ways and get separated. If you come back to each other after everything, that’s love for me. To know the reality and accept someone is true love for me.

Think of it as two people rowing a boat - when the first person gets tired, the other has to put an extra bit of effort and vice versa. But the boat definitely has to be rowed by both to reach to the destination. 

Even in my own relationship, there was a period where I put in extra effort and a period where he put in extra effort. That’s how relationships work.

I’ve had an amazing time in my relationship mostly but it’s due to the difficulties that we faced is I can say I grew as a person. We’ve got separated and eventually got back. Those dark days lure you to give up in this person, make you wonder if it’s really worth it, but you got to find the light be it from the moon if not the sun 😉

It’s not easy, trust me.

And after all this come society, family, friends, relatives etc in the picture - I’d really leave that for some other day.

I sometimes feel I’ve mastered the art of handling a relationship in this 9 year+ long journey of mine but I also feel as if this was nothing compared to what life is gonna teach me in the coming years.

Just felt like penning my thoughts down and here I am :)

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