Random rant!

Becoming a mother has been the most beautiful and the most difficult thing I have ever done.

What surprises me is not the sleepless nights, the endless laundry, the feeding schedules, the diapers, the fucking tailbone pain, the same baby routine or the exhaustion. What surprises me is how easily people judge a new mother while having no idea what her days and nights actually look like.

I have been called too anxious, too fearful, too stressed. I have heard comments about how I panic too much and questions about how I am going to manage motherhood if I worry so much.

What many people don't understand is that motherhood doesn't come with a manual. One day, you are handed the responsibility of an entire human life, and suddenly every decision feels important.

Is the baby feeding enough? Is the baby gaining weight? Why is the baby crying? Is the baby sleeping okay? Did the baby have enough wet diapers today? Is that normal? Should I be worried?

These questions don't come from weakness. They come from love and responsibility.

You know the first night in the hospital, I barely slept because I kept checking if my baby was breathing. Not because I was dramatic or stupid or anxious. Not because I was incapable. Because I was a brand-new mother holding the biggest responsibility of my life.

Sure I am an overthinker. I stress, maybe even cry but ultimately I get shit done, very well!

What also goes unseen is everything happening behind the scenes. Recovering physically while functioning on broken sleep. Breastfeeding while your body is still healing. Managing a household. Trying to take care of yourself while constantly putting someone else's needs first. Returning to work when your body and mind still feel exhausted. Walking to the metro after another sleepless night and wondering how you're going to get through the day.

Doing all of this in a foreign country, far away from the support system that so many people take for granted.😐

People often look at life abroad and think it must be easy because life is so easy. I literally had someone tell me how easy my life is because I have a dishwasher, a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, and so many conveniences. 

But dear, machines don't load themselves. Machines don't fold clothes. Machines don't cook meals. Machines don’t sort a messy house. Machines don't soothe a crying baby at 3 a.m. Machines don't wake up every two hours to feed a newborn. Machines don't replace family support. And they certainly don't replace sleep.

What hurts is not the hard work itself. What hurts is when your efforts are invisible. When every mistake is noticed but no one acknowledges how hard you're trying. When every action is analyzed but no one says, "You're doing a good job." When advice comes more easily than empathy. When women ho had tremendous support and maybe an easy motherhood journey judge you. When judgment comes more easily than support. And no, I am not writing this for sympathy. I am writing this because I have nobody to vent this to and I think many new mothers silently carry the same weight.

We are exhausted. We are learning. We are figuring things out as we go. We make mistakes. We doubt ourselves. We worry. We cry. And then we wake up the next day and do it all over again. Not because we are weak. But because we love our kids and life more than our own comfort.

So the next time you meet a new mother, before commenting on how anxious she is, how emotional she is, or how differently she is doing things, consider offering something much more valuable:

Kindness. Encouragement. Understanding. Because motherhood is hard enough without feeling like you're constantly being evaluated.

I wish I could tell every mother who is doing her best while running on little sleep, carrying invisible mental loads, and feeling like nobody notices her effort: I see you. You are working harder than most people realize.

And yes, you are doing a good job. 👏❤️