For all these years, I've been carrying this baggage that it was my fault.
It was my fault that I was touched inappropriately because had I not had an attractive body, this would never have happened. So much guilt, so much baggage over so many years.
Had I not had a slim body, I would never get those sexual advances.
The biggest reason of holding on to this weight is not feeling safe if at all I choose to let it go.
The anxiety overwhelmes me.
But I realise, yes as silly it may sound, I do realise it now - after years and years of self sabotage, after years of harming myself with such unhealthy food habits, after years of building an addiction to junk, after years of not taking care of my body, after years of mental work and release, I finally do realise IT WAS NOT MY FAULT, IT NEVER WILL BE.
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